OSSLT opinion essay examples: one prompt, four essays, every code explained

How to use these examples

The opinion essay is the biggest single question on the OSSLT. It is worth 20 of the test's 78 raw score points, about a quarter of the total, and it gets two codes: one for topic development, from 10 to 60, and one for conventions, from 10 to 40. Both are scored as first-draft writing.

Rubric wording is hard to picture until you see it in an essay. So below are four essays written for the same prompt, each one a step up from the last. Read them in order and the difference between the codes becomes easy to see.

Litguide wrote all four to show what changes from one code to the next. They are not EQAO exemplars or real student essays. The codes are Litguide's reading of EQAO's published rubrics, and Litguide's essay grader gave each essay the same two codes.

The prompt

Should high schools start the school day later? Write a series of paragraphs that states your opinion and supports it with specific details.

The rubric does not reward one side. Each essay below argues yes because it keeps the comparison fair, but a well supported no would be coded exactly the same way.

Essay 1: topic development 20, conventions 20

I think school should start later because students is tired. alot of students stay up late doing homework and on there phones and then they have to get up really early, being tired is bad.

But also some people have jobs after school so if school starts later they would get home later and that is not good either. So maybe it should stay the same for them.

In conclusion school should start later because students are tired and being tired is bad for school.

Why a 20 for topic development. The essay opens with a clear opinion, then the second paragraph argues the other side, so only part of the response supports it. That is what the rubric describes at 20: an opinion that is unclear or inconsistent, with too few or repetitious details ("being tired is bad" appears twice) and limited organization.

Why a 20 for conventions. "Students is tired", "alot", "there phones" instead of "their phones", a missing capital letter and a run-on sentence make the reader stop and reread. Errors that distract from communication earn a 20.

What would move it up. Choose one side and keep it to the end, give each paragraph one reason, and proofread for the five errors above.

Essay 2: topic development 30, conventions 30

High schools should start the school day later. It would help students in a lot of ways.

First, students would get more sleep. Teenagers need a lot of sleep and most of them do not get enough because they have homework and other things to do at night. If school started later they would be less tired and they would feel better during the day.

Second, students would do better in class. When you are tired it is hard to pay attention to the teacher. If students were awake they would learn more and get better marks on their tests. Also some students take the bus really early and that is hard.

Third, students would be in a better mood. Nobody likes getting up early and it makes people grumpy. A later start would make school a happier place.

Starting school later is a good idea. Students would sleep more, do better and be happier so schools should change the start time.

Why a 30 for topic development. The opinion is now clear and consistent, and each paragraph holds one reason. But every detail is general: "a lot of ways", "other things to do at night", "better marks", "a happier place". The rubric's 30 is a clear opinion with insufficient or vague supporting details, and the bus sentence dropped into the second reason is the kind of lapse in organization it mentions.

Why a 30 for conventions. A few commas are missing, after "If school started later" and before "so schools", but nothing makes the reader stop. Errors that do not distract earn a 30.

What would move it up. Replace each general claim with something a reader can picture: a time, a place, a number or a moment from the writer's own week.

Essay 3: topic development 40, conventions 40

I believe high schools should start the school day later, because students would be more rested, more focused and safer.

First, a later start would let students get more sleep. Many teenagers stay up late because of homework, part-time jobs and sports practices. On my volleyball team, practice ends at 6:00, and most of us do not start our homework until after 8:00. If the first bell rang at 9:00 instead of 8:00, we could sleep an extra hour and still be on time.

Second, students who are rested can focus better. In my first-period class, a lot of people are yawning and some put their heads down on the desk. By third period the same class is much more awake and people answer questions. Starting later would make every class more like third period.

Third, a later start could be safer. In January it is still dark when the first buses leave at 7:20, so students who walk to school or wait at the side of the road are hard for drivers to see.

In conclusion, starting the school day later would help students sleep, focus and stay safe. Schools should make the change.

Why a 40 for topic development. There are enough details now, and some of them are specific: practice ending at 6:00, homework after 8:00, a 9:00 bell instead of 8:00, buses leaving in the dark at 7:20. Others are still general, such as "people answer questions". The organization is mechanical, First, Second, Third and In conclusion, which works but does not build. That matches the rubric's 40: sufficient details, only some specific, mechanical organization.

Why a 40 for conventions. Sentences are complete, punctuation is used correctly and spelling is consistent. The rubric's 40 is control of conventions, and as a first draft it does not have to be perfect.

What would move it up. Make every detail specific, and order the paragraphs so each one leads to the next instead of listing them.

Essay 4: topic development 50, conventions 40

Every morning at 7:15, the first bus pulls away from my stop, and at least half the students on it are asleep before it reaches the highway. High schools should start the school day later, because the early start works against the very thing school is for: learning.

The first problem is not laziness. During the teenage years, the body's sleep clock shifts later, so a sixteen-year-old who lies awake until eleven is not being careless; that is simply when sleep comes. An 8:00 bell means waking at 6:30 or earlier, which leaves many students short of the eight to ten hours of sleep teenagers are advised to get.

That lost sleep shows up in class. Last week in first-period science, our teacher asked what plants give off during photosynthesis, and the room stayed silent for a full ten seconds, even though we had learned it the day before. After lunch, the same question started a five-minute argument about whether houseplants help a bedroom. Students who know the answer at 8:00 often do not have the energy to say it. A later start would not add a single minute to the school day, but it would make the minutes students already have count for more.

Some people argue that a later start would push back sports, part-time jobs and family schedules. That is a real cost, but it is a planning problem, not a reason to keep students exhausted. Some practices could move to the morning, and a start thirty minutes later would not stop anyone from working an evening shift.

Starting school later is not about making high school easier. It is about holding classes at a time when students' minds are awake. If schools want students to do their best thinking, they should schedule school for when that thinking can actually happen.

Why a 50 for topic development. The details are specific all the way through: the 7:15 bus, waking at 6:30 for an 8:00 bell, ten seconds of silence in first-period science and the argument about houseplants after lunch. The organization is logical: the problem, what it does in class, the strongest point against the opinion and an answer to it, then a closing that widens the point. That is the rubric's 50.

Why a 40 for conventions. The writing is in control, including longer sentences with a semicolon and a colon used correctly.

What would make it a 60. The 60 asks for details that are thoughtfully chosen and an organization that shows a thoughtful progression of ideas. Essay 4 is close. Its second paragraph leans on general facts about sleep rather than something the writer has seen, and its answer to the other side would be stronger with one specific example of a schedule that works. With those two changes, every paragraph would add something new to the case.

What changes from one code to the next

• From 20 to 30: hold one opinion from the first sentence to the last.

• From 30 to 40: give enough details, and make some of them specific.

• From 40 to 50: make every detail specific, and put the reasons in a logical order.

• From 50 to 60: choose the details that prove the most, and let each paragraph build on the one before.

• For conventions: errors that distract earn a 20, errors that do not distract a 30, and control of conventions a 40. A response under 30 words, not counting words copied from the prompt, can only earn a 10.

The full rubrics, code by code, are in the OSSLT marking guide, and how to write the OSSLT opinion essay has a paragraph plan you can use for any prompt.

Write your own and get it coded

The quickest way to learn the codes is to write an essay and see which ones it earns.

• This prompt is one of the three in the OSSLT essay grader. Write your own answer and you get a topic development code, a conventions code and feedback on every paragraph in seconds.

• For new topics, OSSLT writing prompts has 40 original prompts by theme.

• For a full sitting, the online OSSLT practice test ends with an opinion essay that is coded on both rubrics when you finish, along with the rest of the test.

Teachers can use the four essays as a class activity: hide the codes, have students code each essay with the two rubrics, then compare their codes with the ones above and discuss what moved each essay up.